Mr. Bunion: You know, sometimes I think - sometimes I feel like taking to booze. Life is so confounded hard to live. I wonder what a little booze would do? Would it make this old road any smother? Oh, me!
Man [ Hat labeled BOOZE ] : What's the trouble old pal? You look blue. What are you doing with that old box?
Mr. Bunion: Well sir, this old box is doing me. Why do you ask?
Booze: I'll show you. Do you want to see a swell trick with that valise?
Mr. Bunion: Any trick you can play or work on that valise is yours, yes!
Booze: Presto! Vanishingo, Disappeario out of sight, gonewayoff.
Mr. Bunion: Well it's, it's gone! What - How where?
Booze: Isn't that great? you are no rid of it! See?
Mr. Bunion: Say! You are a wonder. You are my friend! You are a peach! Anything I've got is yours!
Booze: Now, just duck your head and I will show you another trick.
Mr. Bunion: That is all to the good. I never saw your equal!
Booze: Now, just hold still and I'll fool you again.
Mr. Bunion: Ah, you're a beat. You're my friend! Now what are you doing to me?
Booze: Isn't that great? here it is again ha! Ha! Ha!
Mr. Bunion: Where am I at? Eh!?!?!