Mr. Bunion: Well, sir! John, you never married, did you? You never got a wife.
John: No! I wish I had, now! Yes, sir! I wish I had married a good girl. I should now be happier than I am, Bunion.
Mr. Bunion: Old John Skinflint never got married did he? He's the same old bachelor.
Man #1: Well, he's a sensible man! A man should never marry if he cares to be happy! Oh! If I had to do it over again.
Mr. Bunion: You've got it pretty easy haven't you, eh? No work to do!
Man #2: Yes! But I don't like it! I'd rather work. A man is happier when he is doing something. I hate to loaf, um!
Mr. Bunion: Well! I see you're busy eh, Bill?
Bill: I should say so! I'd like to take a day off once to see how it feels. Who invented work, anyway? I'd like to loaf once, just once!
Mr. Bunion: I guess you don't suffer with the heat much.
Man #3: Nope! I'm too thin, I guess. I wish I was a little fatter. I'd be willing to stand the heat. I wish I weighed two hundred pounds on the square I do, Mr. Bunion!
Mr. Bunion: Jake, I wish I had half your weight, yes, sir!
Jake: I wish I could give it to you. If I was thin like some people I know I'd be the happiest man in this little old world, I sure would!
Mr. Bunion: How are they coming, Dave? Are you prospering?
Dave: Prospering? Yes! Not!!! I'm broke, flat! How can a man be happy without the good old cash! I wish I had a million, I'd show you how to live, huh!
Mr. Bunion: Haven't you got enough money by this time, Jim, eh?
Jim: Yes! I've got too much! I'd rather not have a cent. I was happier years ago when I had nothing. Money is a curse when it gets the best of you.