[Podiatrist]

Mr. Bunion: Well, I've just got to sit down! I can't walk another step! My feet are so frightfully sore! Oh! Oh!
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Mr. Bunion: What's this? Corns, bunions, and stone bruises removed! I wonder if I had not better go and have my feet looked at! Yep! I will go and see this corn doctor!
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Mr. Bunion: I walk so much and my feet suffer. I'll get some relief perhaps! I hope so anyway! [CORNS PULLED without pain, gas, corkscrews, or ice tongs!]
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Doctor: Do you mean to tell me you walk with these feet? You surely use crutches, don't you? This is the worst I ever saw!
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Mr. Bunion: Yes, I am always on my feet, walking mostly. No! No crutch nor cane!
Doctor: Well, sir, you have two corns on each toe, a bunion on each side of both feet and callouses all over the soles.
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Mr. Bunion: How much do I owe you, doc, for this?
Doctor: Not a cent! Write me out a testimonial of my work and I'll use it for an ad. I will also exhibit this collection, too!
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Doctor: Your burden should feel lighter, now. It does, does it not?
Mr. Bunion: This valise? Yes I should say so! Oh! I feel good. I wheel like walking a thousand miles! I'm much obliged to you!
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Mr. Bunion: When pain becomes monotonous one does not suffer so much. When it ceases the relief is startling but the relief is soon forgotten and becomes monotonous, too. My valise is as heavy as ever!