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Mr. Bunion: If there is no punishment that will fit the crime, why not try this valise on him Judge? Make him carry it forever!
Judge: Thats a good suggestion, Mr. Bunion! I'll do it, too!
Lawyer #1: You Honor! This miserable scoundrel is guilty and should receive a punishment worse than hanging or burning at the stake! There's nothing too sever for him, your Honor!
Lawyer #2: You Honor! I'll admit my client is guilty of a terrible crime, but he's an unfortunate degenerate! I ask you, I please that you be merciful with him, your honor, in this case.
Judge: Stand up, young man, and be sentenced! I now sentence you to carry this valise with you, wherever you go, throughout your natural life! Officer! Take him away!
Mr. Bunion: It's a terrible punishment but he deserves it! I'm glad I got rid of it and at the same time assisted the law in punishing crime.
Mr. Bunion: I'm as happy as the lambkins in the merry month of June since I got rid of that old valise, eh! Ah! What?
Policeman: Yes! But I understand the judge is going to reconsider his decision this afternoon, yep!
Judge: On account of the earnest please made by your attorney, I will be more merciful and commute your sentence to hanging. You will hang on Friday the thirteenth of this month until you are dead dead dead!
Mr. Bunion: [Silence]
Policeman: The judge told me to turn this valise over to you as he has no use for it Mr. Bunion!
Mr. Bunion: Ehem! Yes! Set it down. I understand!